FIRST POST

This is the real first post.  The other one was a decoy.  By the way, did I mention that this blog is going to be really, really not worksafe?  I probably should have said something in that respect.

Because it's halloween my boyfriend and I watched Vampire Diaries, which is a movie by the guy who made Subspecies.  Subspecies is fucking awful, but really entertaining.  Vampire Diaries is more of the same. Being a vampire would be sweet as hell, but the vampires in these movies are awful so I can see why that would be a horror thing, being sired by some complete sperglord and having to follow his orders around for eternity. But I digress. At one point I proclaimed "I bet vampires piss blood."  The conversation to drifted to other vampire bodily fluids, like sweating blood and bloodjizz because we are just incredibly erudite and classy.

So, when I grabbed my sketchbook and started in on my FIRST EVER nondominant hand drawing that wasn't a contest for shots at a bar, I asked him what I should draw and he said 'Lestat ejaculating blood'

This image is the reason this blog exists because I wanted to share it with someone but facebook makes the photo posts all big now and I couldn't justify this showing up in peoples news feeds.  I really felt like a stupid baby drawing this, figuring out how the fuck do I even hold a pencil in my left hand, with even writing simple letters being an epic struggle.  It's impossible to keep your morale up in that situation without drinking and drawing something that will make you laugh.

Today's confession: I am really bad at drawing penises even when I'm using my good hand.

GROUND ZERO

Hellooooo, I'm Red and this is my blog.  Two weeks ago I tripped on the train of a floofy goth skirt in my six inch heels and caught myself with my right hand on the edge of a staircase in the exact worst place in the exact worst way.  For the technical amongst you, I have a chip fracture on the trapezium bone that sits just below the first thumb phalange of my dominant hand.

This is a problem guys.  I am in a splint for the next month, minimum and I cannot do jack shit with this fucked up right hand.  I was never a really great artist at 2d, but I can't work on my 3d portfolio, can't hold down an art related job, can't do my leatherworking, can't sew, can't paint, etc etc...

Have any of you seen scanners?  You know that bit where the sculptor is like my art keeps me sane... my art... SANE.  So the only thing to do here is start drawing with my left hand.  Which is a nightmare.  And everyone knows nightmares are more fun when you inflict them on other people too.

Welcome to my nightmare.

BTW here's a picture to prove I can draw.  It's kind of old and just a sketch but I'm on my boyfriend's computer and it's what is there.  It should be enough to prove to you that I'm not completely incompetent and scamming you with inauthentic pain and struggle.