Adventure Time!

Hey what do you know drawing from actual children's shows makes these look more like the product of an adorable child's pencil and less like the fumbling of a horrible nightmare.

(full disclosure: adventure time is my favorite show on television)

Don't expect my little pony though.  Because seriously, fucking, no.

Hiatus Break!

Unexpected hiatus due to illness. Drawing with your retard hand is hard enough without dealing with flu-brain.  Anyway, my bbff has been ill as well and our brains being too addled for higher entertainment we were watching some 'Spiderman and his Amazing Friends.' on netflix.  It's terrible!  I asked him what to draw and he said Namor having sex with a fish, but being an artist I felt the subject was open to interpretation.  ANYWAY getting back to the seedy filthy roots of this blog I initially promised.

Bonus content:

THIS MUST BE JAM BECAUSE JELLY wait I'm confused.

 

This will be the best thing ever posted on this blog because I decided to draw two things last night, but when I finished the blueline sketch for the second I kind of... liked it.  I didn't want to butcher it with my horrific inking so I handed it to my BBFF to ink/render.  He did a smashing job.  All of the derpyness of the poorly sized bullets spewed out by my shaking hand is preserved.

My BBFF and I both have a complicated relationship with Duke Nukem, having been exposed to him during our formative years and then feeling like he was safely in production limbo, freeing us to use him artistically as a christ-like metaphor.  Then Duke Nukem Forever had to actually come out and be sexist and horrible and shitty.  So... we pretend that didn't happen and continue to enjoy drawing Duke Nukem.

The Walking Dead with a brushpen

 

If you're going to suck, why not suck really enthusiastically with a difficult medium while watching a show so braindead you hope Kirkman is shrieking 'I'm out of my element Donny!' every day of shooting.  I didn't even like the comic book.  Partially because for about five straight years the only 'recommendations' you could get for comics were walkingdead/y the last man/fables and if you told people that those were okay, but they didn't really click with you and you wanted to read something different they would stare at you like your head was on fire.

But other people did like the comic book and it had things going for it.

This show is retarded.

THREE TIMES IS NOT A CHARM!

Tonight I caught up on back episodes of Work of Art, which is a reality show where they take a bunch of promising artists and a bunch of shitty ones and throw challenges at them that would be interesting if the artists were given more than a day to work on them but instead they usually crash and burn in a hilarious way.  Today, the challenge was pop art.  At the end of the show I decided were I actually to have such a challenge, I'd like to do a modern style DC comic panel in the style of Lichtenstein, even though I hate Lichtenstein, but I think that would be interesting because the average person has no fucking idea how sexual and gratuitously sadistically violent superhero comics have gotten.

But I started drawing at the beginning of the show so I just decided to draw Lady Gaga as a Marilith.  Unfortunately the scanner cropped off most of the tail and the second set of arms and there is no way in hell I am spending time stitching together something like this.

 

 I made a major mis-step on this one by drawing a really skimpy costume initially and then adding stuff onto it I wasn't really feeling until it ended up a total unfocused, very not-couture outfit.. I wasn't using any reference and I've never drawn Gaga before.  I really admire her sense of fashion, but it only really overlaps with half of mine and rather than just doing the half that overlapped with mine I got all dumb-brained and phoned it in.  Lady Gaga would never respect that.

I'm sorry Gaga I have failed the eleganza.

Consequently this is the picture on here I'm most ashamed of and it's quite arguably the least hideous. 

POST 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

Still Halloween, still watching terrible vampire movies so I had vampires on the brain still.  Sorry, this one is actually clean.

Spurned by Louis for ruining the carpet,  Lestat seeks new companions, only to find himself rejected for his physical appearance. 

Drawing this I realized something I noticed less on the initial drawing.  Aside from control, endurance is also going to be a major problem.  The way I draw these is to go in light intially and then attempt to go back in and do another pass to try in vain to make the linework suck slightly less.  Notice that Orlok's hands and features are a little cleaner while Radu's are a horrible mess.  That's because Orlok went first because he's cool and Radu sucks.  By the time I was trying to do second pass on Lestat and the environment my hand was failing completely to obey my mental commands.

Clearly I was overambitious drawing 3 figures and an 'environment'.

While drawing these the urge to grab the pencil with my right hand, just for a second, just to fix ONE feature is nearly overwhelming.  I have very limited use of my right hand.  I can, for example, print and sign my name when absolutely necessary on forms, but this act is painful and will undoubtedly slow the healing.  Which is unacceptable.

The bad art must continue.

FIRST POST

This is the real first post.  The other one was a decoy.  By the way, did I mention that this blog is going to be really, really not worksafe?  I probably should have said something in that respect.

Because it's halloween my boyfriend and I watched Vampire Diaries, which is a movie by the guy who made Subspecies.  Subspecies is fucking awful, but really entertaining.  Vampire Diaries is more of the same. Being a vampire would be sweet as hell, but the vampires in these movies are awful so I can see why that would be a horror thing, being sired by some complete sperglord and having to follow his orders around for eternity. But I digress. At one point I proclaimed "I bet vampires piss blood."  The conversation to drifted to other vampire bodily fluids, like sweating blood and bloodjizz because we are just incredibly erudite and classy.

So, when I grabbed my sketchbook and started in on my FIRST EVER nondominant hand drawing that wasn't a contest for shots at a bar, I asked him what I should draw and he said 'Lestat ejaculating blood'

This image is the reason this blog exists because I wanted to share it with someone but facebook makes the photo posts all big now and I couldn't justify this showing up in peoples news feeds.  I really felt like a stupid baby drawing this, figuring out how the fuck do I even hold a pencil in my left hand, with even writing simple letters being an epic struggle.  It's impossible to keep your morale up in that situation without drinking and drawing something that will make you laugh.

Today's confession: I am really bad at drawing penises even when I'm using my good hand.