DHC INTO BEST BUDS

I'm in a cast now instead of just a splint, which is safer for the hand I guess but makes it impossible to play MvC.  Instead I have to cheer on my BBFF's team. Fortunately they are the BEST TEAM.

SMILES EVERYONE!

D&D horrors

PLEASE LET ME DIE

I thought it might be fun to draw some 1st ed D&D monsters but I wasn't really on my game. The bigger inked Beholder is kind of cute I guess.

Zelda

I can't even play wii games with a busted thumb. The sadness of things. Less said about these the better, I think... especially that last one.

IT'S THE 90s!

 

I couldn't decide what the draw after Nemesis, but then I remembered the best thing to draw when you don't know what to draw is Liefeld parodies.

I inked this.  I inked this entire thing.  Look at the lines!  Some of them are REASONABLY SMOOTH.  I am sort of terrified that I drew this with my left hand.

COMPLETE GLOBAL SATURATION

 

"I don't understand, Albert, why do the budget projections for the new tyrant bioweapon include several thousand dollars for an avant-garde couture tailor and twenty yards of fine italian leather?"

A NEW CHALLENGER APPROACHES

Another that was too big for the scanner. Marvel vs Capcom wisest wizards.

Mental Organism Designed Only For Kink

Another 'what do I draw, bbff?' night.  He suggested Modok at fetish night.

There were some markers lying around and i wanted the ball gag red but I think I should have kept it just white black and red because the composition was better that way. 

Despite requesting this my bbff finds it deeply,  deeply disturbing. He says there's something about the face that makes him think someone could have drawn it with actual, prurient intent instead of as a joke.

I don't know where the hell he's seeing that. 

By the way, did you know my blog has another rule besides the non-dominant hand one?  I am also not allowed to look at any reference material whatsoever when I draw.  So if popular characters look a little offmodel, or even REALLY REALLY offmodel that's what's going on there.

Adventure Time!

Hey what do you know drawing from actual children's shows makes these look more like the product of an adorable child's pencil and less like the fumbling of a horrible nightmare.

(full disclosure: adventure time is my favorite show on television)

Don't expect my little pony though.  Because seriously, fucking, no.

Hiatus Break!

Unexpected hiatus due to illness. Drawing with your retard hand is hard enough without dealing with flu-brain.  Anyway, my bbff has been ill as well and our brains being too addled for higher entertainment we were watching some 'Spiderman and his Amazing Friends.' on netflix.  It's terrible!  I asked him what to draw and he said Namor having sex with a fish, but being an artist I felt the subject was open to interpretation.  ANYWAY getting back to the seedy filthy roots of this blog I initially promised.

Bonus content:

THIS MUST BE JAM BECAUSE JELLY wait I'm confused.

 

This will be the best thing ever posted on this blog because I decided to draw two things last night, but when I finished the blueline sketch for the second I kind of... liked it.  I didn't want to butcher it with my horrific inking so I handed it to my BBFF to ink/render.  He did a smashing job.  All of the derpyness of the poorly sized bullets spewed out by my shaking hand is preserved.

My BBFF and I both have a complicated relationship with Duke Nukem, having been exposed to him during our formative years and then feeling like he was safely in production limbo, freeing us to use him artistically as a christ-like metaphor.  Then Duke Nukem Forever had to actually come out and be sexist and horrible and shitty.  So... we pretend that didn't happen and continue to enjoy drawing Duke Nukem.

The Walking Dead with a brushpen

 

If you're going to suck, why not suck really enthusiastically with a difficult medium while watching a show so braindead you hope Kirkman is shrieking 'I'm out of my element Donny!' every day of shooting.  I didn't even like the comic book.  Partially because for about five straight years the only 'recommendations' you could get for comics were walkingdead/y the last man/fables and if you told people that those were okay, but they didn't really click with you and you wanted to read something different they would stare at you like your head was on fire.

But other people did like the comic book and it had things going for it.

This show is retarded.

THREE TIMES IS NOT A CHARM!

Tonight I caught up on back episodes of Work of Art, which is a reality show where they take a bunch of promising artists and a bunch of shitty ones and throw challenges at them that would be interesting if the artists were given more than a day to work on them but instead they usually crash and burn in a hilarious way.  Today, the challenge was pop art.  At the end of the show I decided were I actually to have such a challenge, I'd like to do a modern style DC comic panel in the style of Lichtenstein, even though I hate Lichtenstein, but I think that would be interesting because the average person has no fucking idea how sexual and gratuitously sadistically violent superhero comics have gotten.

But I started drawing at the beginning of the show so I just decided to draw Lady Gaga as a Marilith.  Unfortunately the scanner cropped off most of the tail and the second set of arms and there is no way in hell I am spending time stitching together something like this.

 

 I made a major mis-step on this one by drawing a really skimpy costume initially and then adding stuff onto it I wasn't really feeling until it ended up a total unfocused, very not-couture outfit.. I wasn't using any reference and I've never drawn Gaga before.  I really admire her sense of fashion, but it only really overlaps with half of mine and rather than just doing the half that overlapped with mine I got all dumb-brained and phoned it in.  Lady Gaga would never respect that.

I'm sorry Gaga I have failed the eleganza.

Consequently this is the picture on here I'm most ashamed of and it's quite arguably the least hideous. 

POST 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

Still Halloween, still watching terrible vampire movies so I had vampires on the brain still.  Sorry, this one is actually clean.

Spurned by Louis for ruining the carpet,  Lestat seeks new companions, only to find himself rejected for his physical appearance. 

Drawing this I realized something I noticed less on the initial drawing.  Aside from control, endurance is also going to be a major problem.  The way I draw these is to go in light intially and then attempt to go back in and do another pass to try in vain to make the linework suck slightly less.  Notice that Orlok's hands and features are a little cleaner while Radu's are a horrible mess.  That's because Orlok went first because he's cool and Radu sucks.  By the time I was trying to do second pass on Lestat and the environment my hand was failing completely to obey my mental commands.

Clearly I was overambitious drawing 3 figures and an 'environment'.

While drawing these the urge to grab the pencil with my right hand, just for a second, just to fix ONE feature is nearly overwhelming.  I have very limited use of my right hand.  I can, for example, print and sign my name when absolutely necessary on forms, but this act is painful and will undoubtedly slow the healing.  Which is unacceptable.

The bad art must continue.

FIRST POST

This is the real first post.  The other one was a decoy.  By the way, did I mention that this blog is going to be really, really not worksafe?  I probably should have said something in that respect.

Because it's halloween my boyfriend and I watched Vampire Diaries, which is a movie by the guy who made Subspecies.  Subspecies is fucking awful, but really entertaining.  Vampire Diaries is more of the same. Being a vampire would be sweet as hell, but the vampires in these movies are awful so I can see why that would be a horror thing, being sired by some complete sperglord and having to follow his orders around for eternity. But I digress. At one point I proclaimed "I bet vampires piss blood."  The conversation to drifted to other vampire bodily fluids, like sweating blood and bloodjizz because we are just incredibly erudite and classy.

So, when I grabbed my sketchbook and started in on my FIRST EVER nondominant hand drawing that wasn't a contest for shots at a bar, I asked him what I should draw and he said 'Lestat ejaculating blood'

This image is the reason this blog exists because I wanted to share it with someone but facebook makes the photo posts all big now and I couldn't justify this showing up in peoples news feeds.  I really felt like a stupid baby drawing this, figuring out how the fuck do I even hold a pencil in my left hand, with even writing simple letters being an epic struggle.  It's impossible to keep your morale up in that situation without drinking and drawing something that will make you laugh.

Today's confession: I am really bad at drawing penises even when I'm using my good hand.

GROUND ZERO

Hellooooo, I'm Red and this is my blog.  Two weeks ago I tripped on the train of a floofy goth skirt in my six inch heels and caught myself with my right hand on the edge of a staircase in the exact worst place in the exact worst way.  For the technical amongst you, I have a chip fracture on the trapezium bone that sits just below the first thumb phalange of my dominant hand.

This is a problem guys.  I am in a splint for the next month, minimum and I cannot do jack shit with this fucked up right hand.  I was never a really great artist at 2d, but I can't work on my 3d portfolio, can't hold down an art related job, can't do my leatherworking, can't sew, can't paint, etc etc...

Have any of you seen scanners?  You know that bit where the sculptor is like my art keeps me sane... my art... SANE.  So the only thing to do here is start drawing with my left hand.  Which is a nightmare.  And everyone knows nightmares are more fun when you inflict them on other people too.

Welcome to my nightmare.

BTW here's a picture to prove I can draw.  It's kind of old and just a sketch but I'm on my boyfriend's computer and it's what is there.  It should be enough to prove to you that I'm not completely incompetent and scamming you with inauthentic pain and struggle.